Something a little ‘light’
hearted
From 'A Bucket of Surprises' J.John & Mark Stibbe
How many AMISH does it take to change a light bulb?
What’s a light bulb?
How many BAPTISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? Who said anything about change?
How many CALVINISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
None: God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists
do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray
that their light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.
How many CATHOLICS does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use candles.
How many CHARISMATICS does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten: one to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit
of darkness.
How many INDEPENDENT FUNDAMENTALISTS does it take to change
a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much co-operation.
How many LIBERALS does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the
light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the
light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating
those who might use other forms of light.
How many MEMBERS OF AN ESTABLISHED BIBLE-TEACHING CHURCH THAT
IS OVER 20 YEARS OLD does it take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the light bulb, and nine to say how much
they liked the old one.
How many METHODISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: “We choose not to make a statement
either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if
in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you,
that’s fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern
dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light
source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual
light-bulb Sunday service, in which we explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life,
and tinted - all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.”
How many TELEVANGELISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation
today.
How many YOUTH PASTORS does it take to change a light bulb?
Youth pastors aren’t around long enough for a light bulb to
need replacing.
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